A year ago I entered Landsberg by bike…I remember seeing the town a bit from above, soft blue colours in the distance, the church towers in the Lech valley….My journey stopped here.
What have I learnt? What is alive?
A scene at school: a group of first graders come into the room with the idea of playing “school”. Luca, three grades older is the teacher, the three younger ones the pupils. They sit down, open their note books and look at the black board. Luca is going to teach them the alphabet, not in block letters that they have already learnt but the cursive ones. He starts with the A, the capital letter and next to it the small one, and so on, B b, C c…
His pupils are eager to write the new versions and check whether their copies are okay. “Yes, very good.”, he answers, his voice turning soft. And even when they doubt and are not satisfied with their skills he reminds them that they are learning and thus motivates them and appreciates their efforts. “Oh look, you have even done a better job than I did.” he says to one girl. He is patient, kind as if his role was awakening another part in him.
I have known him louder, tense, most of the time enumerating what he has accomplished, bought or what he owns. He exists more through his possessions when he speaks.
Witnessing his transformation makes me feel soft too and surprised and tender towards him. I tell him how I appreciate his supporting way towards his friends. He asks me what job I think would suit him well once an adult. …
And suddenly, as if leaving behind the class room, he says “Oh I want to be an air traffic controller because you earn 4000 EUR a month and only work 4 days a week.”
In front of me is a boy that was taught that a good job is one where you earn a lot of money and do as little as possible.
The patient, kind, listening part has vanished again…for a short moment both parts stood in front of me looking at each other.
The world as I have known it does not exist anymore…it changes every other minute…I´m changing with it…the time of Not Knowing has expanded….I know my intentions: to connect, to care, to contribute, to listen, to trust….active choices.
I invite myself to live my intentions every moment a new and see where that brings me to.
The other day while talking to a friend on the phone he second-handed me words of an author he just read: to transform or substitute achievement with discovery instead…and immediately it makes sense to me.
In invite myself to shift from achieving as a strategy for recognition, for being seen, for connecting with purpose and meaning, developing my potential ..to nurturing these needs through discovery.
These past months I have put my focus on weaving communities. I understand myself as embodying one perspective among so many others. Truth and “what is” shapes from all these different ways of being. The reality in the middle of our circle is to be discovered, not achieved.